Andate a comprare ITALIC di marzo.
E nel frattempo rileggetevi il mio pezzo di febbraio.
“Come spugne tutt’orecchi, i bambini assorbono i comportamenti dei genitori”
Oggi vanno di moda quegli orologi che proiettano l’ora sul soffitto, di notte. Così tu stai sdraiato, nel letto, e tieni d’occhio il tempo che scorre. Le ore di sonno che hai a disposizione. Ed è spesso quando è buio, e tardi, che, fissando il soffitto, puoi finalmente discutere con tua moglie. Di qualcosa, magari, accaduto dodici ore prima. Oddio, discutere è un parolone. Perché i bimbi dormono (è proprio questo il motivo per il quale ora è lecito il confronto) e non devono sentire. Ed allora cominci ad urlare sussurrando, facendo uscire dalla bocca un sibilo che ricorda molto quello dell’imperatore Palpatine di Star Wars: “Giovane stolto. Solo ora, alla fine, acquisti la ragione!…”. Il risultato, però, è che dopo cinque minuti che comprimi il suono per far uscire solo il respiro, sperando si senta, tua moglie ha sentito la metà di quello che volevi dirle e a te fa male la gola come se avessi provato a surclassare Pappalardo in “Ricominciamo”. E tutto questo perché? Perché i bambini non devono assistere alle discussioni dei grandi. I bambini sono come spugne. I bambini vanno protetti…E vai con le scuole di pensiero!
Certo è vero che oggi i bambini sono, se possibile, ancora più ricettivi ed imitatori degli atteggiamenti degli adulti. Fin dai primi anni di vita. Ricordo Edoardo, a poco più di tre anni, quando rispose alla mamma, che lo aveva giustamente rimproverato, alzando l’indice e riportando, quasi fedelmente una frase che ancora oggi non ci capacitiamo dove possa averla sentita: “Mamma, non mi parlare con quel tUono!”, e giù tutti a ridere. Ma è anche vero però, che oggi noi genitori ci facciamo duemila paranoie in più, rispetto ai colleghi delle generazioni passate. Del resto da milioni di anni i bambini, con il tempo, diventano adulti. E non più tardi di un secolo fa, tra genitori, non ci si poneva certo il problema di trascendere davanti ai figli in caso di confronto. Urla, piatti volanti e magari qualche sceneggiata con le valige sulla porta. E milioni di bimbi sono diventati grandi lo stesso.
Oggi, però, tutto è trasparente, la grande e diffusa casa di vetro dove viviamo, ci fa vivere nel terrore di sembrare cattivi genitori, perché tutti ci guardano. Attenzione, non di esserlo, ma di sembrarlo, cattivi genitori. Reality, social network, centri commerciali con dentro le case. Tutto è in vetrina, ed allora se sgarri, se ne accorgono subito. Agevolati, ovviamente, dall’aiuto dei tuoi figli. “Guardi, oggi ho dovuto riprendere sua figlia Caterina – mi ha detto tempo fa la maestra del nido – strappava di mano i trenini a due amichetti al grido ‘Quètto è di papà!’”, e tu, con lo sguardo basso: “No, mi scusi, è che spesso i suoi fratelli si litigano il trenino ed io provo a spiegare loro che il gioco non è di uno dei due in particolare”, e la maestra, con lo sguardo simile a quello del tuo professore di letteratura latina quando ti beccava con il traduttore in mano: “Ah, capisco…”.
La soluzione, forse, per poter convivere con l’inevitabile imbarazzo al quale a volte i figli ti espongono, è la solita. E la più semplice. O la più difficile, in effetti. E’ essere se stessi. Se sei te stesso, i tuoi figli assorbiranno la parte migliore di te, quella ‘giusta’. Mentre se predichi bene, ma razzoli male, vedrai che nessuno, come i tuoi figli, è capace di osservarti e registrare per ore, mentre razzoli.
Il migliore amichetto di Edo alla materna è Manolo. Manolo porta sempre una pistola giocattolo a scuola, mentre Edo si porta le macchinine. Manolo urla come un ossesso ogni mattina che entra in classe, Edo lo guarda sempre basito. Manolo parla con i bidelli della Roma, mentre Edo dei bidelli, tatuati, della Garbatella, ha una paura fottuta. Una mattina Manolo e la sua mamma arrivavano all’asilo insieme a me e a Edo. La sua mamma urlava più di lui, perché lui era veramente capriccioso, e contemporaneamente teneva la sorellina piccola in braccio. Robusta, alta e determinata, la mia collega emetteva suoni che non riuscivo a comprendere. Poi finalmente Manolo si è calmato e stava per entrare in classe. Ed è stato in quel momento che, prima ancora di capire ciò che aveva raggiunto le mie orecchie, ho visto gli occhi del piccolo Edoardo cambiare all’improvviso: “A’ Mano’ torna qua! Vièmme a da ‘nbacio e poi vatteneaffanculo in classe!”.
Non erano occhi spaventati, erano occhi invidiosi. Per il suo piccolo amico.
Io ho guardato la mia collega ammirato, e le ho stretto la mano.
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